I love this quote from writer, T.S. Eliot:

“Whatever you think, be sure it is what you think; whatever you want, be sure that is what you want; whatever you feel, be sure that is what you feel.”

It’s simple to go through life doing things that other people want us to do.

It’s simple, but not easy.

Many of us make decisions, whether we realize it or not, based on the thinking of other people. 

This is really common. 

So, armed with the knowledge that this is often the case, we should stop and ask ourselves, “is this what I want?”

When it comes to achieving our goals, it’s important to make sure we are ready to own our decisions.

Why Do We Need To Own Our Decisions?

It’s always worth starting with why. 

Feeling inspired, or motivated to pursue something and not pursuing it is an early warning sign of future regret.

According to Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse and author of the book top 5 regrets of the dying, the number one regret of those on their deathbed is they, “wish they had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them.”

This makes sense.

But how do we know what life is “more true to ourselves”?

Jealousy As A Sign

When we see someone else achieving goals similar to what we think we might like to do and we get even the tiniest bit of jealousy, we shouldn’t see this as a bad thing.

Instead, we should recognize, hmm, maybe there is something here that I would like to do as well. Maybe this person is showing me what is possible beyond what I can imagine right now. Seeing people succeed in an area that we have interest in is one way to find some signs. 

You see someone playing music.

Someone you know publishes a book. 

Or, scrolling social media, we see someone coaching people in fitness.

And you’re hit with a little wonder of what that would be like?

It doesn’t really matter what it is, what matters is that we take note of how it makes us feel.

If we follow little signs and omens like these by taking action, there’s no way for us to end up on our deathbed with regret.

Energy As A Sign

Another sign we’re doing something in alignment with our dreams is when it increases our energy.

If we find ourselves engaging deeper and deeper in an activity and we feel better doing it, that’s a good sign.

We tend to get so into these things that our mind doesn’t wander to all of the other “to-do” list items in our life.

The world fades away when we get lost in these moments. We lose track of time when we do activities we actually want to own.

So energy increasing, along with being inspired, or maybe even a bit jealous of others are good indicators that we’re on the right path.

Are You Stuck, Heading Toward Regret?

I had a client make a list of books she wants to read, and at the top of the list were, three books, “unstuck”, “subtle art of not giving a fuck” and “unfuck yourself”. From this I can tell quite clearly, that edgy, self-empowerment reads are in style!

But more importantly, it’s clear to me, many of us are struggling with patterns that hold us in place. To wonder if we’re headed toward regret because we are staying stuck, we should take some time to pause and reflect on a few questions.

Are you clinging to things simply because they are familiar?

Do you feel like life is too repetitive?

Are there things you would like to try but are hesitant?

If you do in fact feel stuck, I have good news. It may feel very real. But, it’s actually an illusion. If you already have a sense that you are stuck, then you’re well on your way to recreating yourself. Simply recognizing you would benefit from a change is massive!

Once we recognize it, the next step is all about deciding what change we want to make and ensuring we are truly ready to become the owner of our dreams.

Thanks for reading. Your pal,
Justin

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