Something we learn the hard way (if we learn at all) is that confidence only comes from action.
Yea, it’s a chicken and egg, but you kinda gotta fake it til’ ya make it first.
When I was a teen I really wanted to get in shape.
Bigger, faster, stronger.
But I was stuck battling confidence.
Until I read an article called “Walk Like The King” where it was explained that ACTION > leads to CONFIDENCE > which then leads to SELF-ESTEEM.
And that the best way to believe in your vision is to walk like you are already bigger, faster, stronger, because you’re going to be.
To walk like you’re already the champ.
I just interviewed a friend Kyle Turk on the podcast to talk all things marketing. And one of the things we talked about was the overlap between great marketers and an appreciation for Hip Hop.
There’s something there.
If you’re good at marketing there’s a strong chance you appreciate the Hip Hop industry.
There’s probably a lot that goes into it but his guess was it has to do with the ability of people to build such powerful magnetic brands.
Think of the idea of 1,000 true fans, this is the idea of a thousand true fans on steroids.
Like a million true fans.
50 CENT is an absolute genius when it comes to this.
And there’s something all these people have in common.
They show up in a confident way (even when they aren’t confident).
So, while it can be a bit controversial, it’s important to build a personal brand around confidence and walk with a bit of swagger.
But most of us need tricks to learn this.
Do You Have An Alter Ego?
It’s probably a whole other episode to talk about alter egos, but I was watching the documentary receiver on Netflix and they’re interviewing Justin Jefferson.
A super highly paid, millions and millions of dollars, receiver for the Minnesota Vikings. And he was opening up about the fact that he’s a pretty humble, laid-back, chill dude.
So if he’s going to sell the brand of who he is for the team and the value he brings to the bottom line, then he needs to trick himself into showing up as someone else.
Someone who will do touchdown dances and be a little bit less boring, which is actually something that his Mom told him to do. The fact he started doing the gritty, a dance that went super viral was because he was trying to build a personal brand that was less boring and could lead to achieving his big dreams.
But he had a trick himself into doing this a bit and I think most of us are like this.
Now he shows up as “JETS”
If you look at anyone who has had a major impact on others, they’ve done it by figuring out how to scale their brand influence.
So today I want to talk a bit about how this idea of showing up with swagger has transformed my life and how it can actually help you help others.
Swag as a Reflection of Self-Worth
When I talk about swag, I’m not referring to flashy clothes or a swaggering attitude.
It could be that too.
But I’m really talking about the inner belief in your worth. A belief so strong it radiates outward, influencing how others perceive and interact with you.
Understanding your value, embracing it and scaling it.
If you think you’re only capable of modest achievements, that’s what the world will reflect back to you.
And if that’s what you want, great you got this!
But if you believe you’re capable of influencing a lot of people and loving every minute of it, others will start to believe that too.
They need a guide, they need your wisdom, they want to follow you.
But only if you’re willing to lead.
It’s Not Luck
Luck is a thing. It’s actually a very powerful thing and does exist.
But it’s not the most important factor.
If you look at anyone who has started from the bottom now they’re here.
Anyone who can tell the story of they weren’t raised with money, or cheat codes, but they figure out their own hero’s journey and now they show up to help others.
Any big success story like that you will see that there wasn’t a lot of luck involved. Believe me luck is not enough.
In fact for most of us it’s bad luck that really almost held us up.
I’ve been close to being a millionaire and owning multiple properties and yet at this point I don’t have anything to show for those moments in my life.
It would be easy to give up because of this “quote-unquote” bad luck, but it’s better to decide that you’re not going to let luck be a factor.
What you do want to become the main factor is refusing to limit the growth of your self confidence.
You want the main factor to be that you finally embrace the value that you can bring to others.
Where you won’t make excuses. You’ll either walk like the King, or not care about what happens.
The Role of Confidence in Success
Now, let’s talk about confidence.
When I think about confidence, two people come to mind.
Both are extremely polarizing and one is really popular, while the other is less pop culture relevant. But immediately they both come to mind when I think of confidence. And some people hate them, some people love them, some people cheer them on, some people are jealous of them and not too many in between.
Side note: like any human, both of these people have great things about them, they both have shitty things about them and they probably have stuff in the middle.
I’ll start with the less popular person.
Amanda Frances.
Amanda wrote the book Rich As Fuck: More money than you know what to do with.
She shows up to her millions of social media fans and shares the fact that she is a repetitive unrealistic goal achiever.
I love that tagline because we’re usually told to be more realistic.
In reality, for some of us that may be the case like I don’t think you are going to beat Elon Musk in the race to Mars. And if you think you are, perhaps you do need to be more realistic. Or maybe not, only you know! Either way, for most of us it’s actually the opposite.
We need to be a lot less realistic.
We need to pour the gas on the fire of our dreams and just take steps in those directions.
Amanda talks about how much she actually liked her work and her jobs and many things about traditional careers, but that she felt capped in two ways. One financially. Two, and most importantly, in terms of the impact she could have on the world.
Conor McGregor
The other person I wanted to share that’s super popular is Conor McGregor and the dude can be an asshole in many ways.
He’s punched an old man in a bar, been abusive to people and blurs the lines between playing a character and living an evil life.
But there is no better example. I mean maybe Donald Trump. I’m not sure. But no better example than Connor in terms of a decision to achieve a goal, again a very unrealistic goal by society’s standards, and to go on a hero’s journey to achieve it. Then, not only achieve it, but absolutely smash it out of the park.
This isn’t an endorsement of who the dude is in the other 99% of his life. But in that 1% where he decided to be confident first and then fill in the blanks later.
Both of these experts in manifestation figured this out and it’s something I’ve struggled with throughout life. Hoping to be picked, or that the cheat codes will land in my lap somehow. Not realizing that the key is actually to be confident, decide to take action and keep going.
There’s your blueprint.
Other Celebrities With Confidence
Before I give you some tips on tapping into your own confidence let me share what my AI gave as the Top 10 names of people who seem super irrationally confident in pop culture.
We can learn a lot from this list.
And if we have a reaction to any of them it can be really valuable to try and understand why?
Kanye West
Elon Musk
Donald Trump
Conor McGregor
Beyonce
Nicki Minaj
Lady Gaga
Miley Cyrus
Madonna
Gordon Ramsay
Increasing Your Own Confidence
Confidence and self-esteem are closely linked, but they’re not the same.
Self-esteem is the foundation.
Your belief in your overall worth as a person.
Confidence, on the other hand, is action-oriented.
It’s the belief that you can succeed in whatever you set your mind to, based on the foundation of self-esteem.
For example, when I first started this show I wasn’t confident at all. I knew I had to push through that stage, but it wasn’t easy because I felt really out of place.
Tapping into growth mindset, knowing that you’re gonna suck before you’re good, I just continued to take the steps.
Own Your Growth Mindset
One of the most listened to episodes of the show is when I played clips of Ed Sheeran talking about how bad he was at singing when he first started.
But he just continued to move forward and now everyone thinks he’s great.
The key to all of this is to embrace the idea that it’s okay not to be the best in every area.
Focus on your strengths, develop your weaknesses, but keep going and you’ll begin to build real confidence.
This brings us back to the concept of swag.
Assigning high value to yourself is about more than just confidence; it’s about a decision to believe.
To believe that you are just as worthy of success as anyone else.
Instead of walking into a party and wondering “I wonder if people will think I’m cool?” you step into every situation thinking “I wonder if I’m going to think people here are cool?”
You don’t have to be a judgemental dick about it.
It’s just about shifting your mindset toward your self worth.
Regardless of skills, or talents, shift from hoping to be accepted to being unique. Following your own path, without worrying about what anyone else thinks.
Because confidence will come later, it starts with walking like the Queen or King.
Building Confidence Through Action
Confidence doesn’t just appear overnight; it’s built through action.
It’s important to take steps, big or small, that align with the person you want to be.
One practical tip is to look back on how far you’ve come in the last few years.
Just as you set goals for the future, reflect on what you’ve already done.
Remember how capable of progress you are.
The other thing is that confidence is infectious.
It spreads from one person to another.
So you need to put yourself in environments that lift you up.
Surround yourself with people who inspire and support you.
Walk Like The KING
When I first started training in fitness I would look at people much bigger, faster, stronger than me and think like I could never get there.
But then I read an article that changed my life.
It was written about twenty years ago by a guy Chris Vaughn called “Walk in Like The KING”
The next time you post something, create a landing page, go into a meeting, or walk into your gym, or sports field, walk in like you are the Queen, or King. Not cockiness (there is a difference) but walk in with a swagger.
Walk in as a boss.
Why?
Because someday you will be.
Any goal that’s worthwhile takes a super long time.
I think of people like bodybuilder Chris Bumstead, podcasters such as myself, or Pat Flynn. Personal brands like Mel Robbins, or founders like Melanie Perkins who started Canva.
These overnight successes actually took a real long time. In all of those cases ten to twenty years.
But one of the things that speeds up the process and makes the time fly by is living from day one like you’re the KING or Queen of whatever you’re building.
Everyone Started Somewhere.
No one you see crushing it right now was born as the best of the best.
They started small just like the rest of us.
They worked to become the best as countless people fell by the wayside.
How many ideas do you think they tried before they started to figure things out? How many people doubted them day in and day out?
The truth is it doesn’t really matter.
They still made it.
Even if they were often alone, felt like giving up, or were stumped, they figured out a way to keep going.
And I think it came from believing (even if they didn’t know how) in what they were working on.
So many of your peers will give up after just a few tries. But not you.
You will set a goal, crush it, and then move on to a place that right now you can only dream of.
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